she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The Olympian is in my bed
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
