I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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