she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
