fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
