We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize