this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
