bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
