I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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