when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
