They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
