I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
