I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
