Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize