so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
