Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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