Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
