You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
