the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
