he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
