ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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