We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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