Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
