Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize