okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
