You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize