I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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