no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
