He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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