it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
