That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
