I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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