I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
