just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
