Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
