I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
