My nipple is on Facebook.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
