Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I need to calm my uterus...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize