on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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