WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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