2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
