I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My ass is underappreciated
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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