I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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