There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
