pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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