ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Pooping to opera.
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