just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
