Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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