lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
