I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
