marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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