the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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