Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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