Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
