Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
