I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
