i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
