Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize