i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
