You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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