are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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