SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
