Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
