Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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