I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
