Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
