I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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