Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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